Well, look at this fancy watch thing, a “Rolex Sub-ma-ree-ner”, huh? Sounds like somethin’ them city folks would wear. Heard tell it costs a pretty penny, more than my old mule Bessie, that’s for sure! But they say there’s a bunch of fakes out there, lookin’ just like the real deal. So how you gonna tell ’em apart, you ask? Let me tell ya, it ain’t rocket science, even this old woman can figure it out.
First thing’s first, you gotta feel the heft of it. A real one, it’s gonna be heavy, like holdin’ a good-sized rock. Them fake ones, they feel kinda light and cheap, like they made of tin or somethin’. Don’t let ’em fool ya with shiny stuff, feel that weight, that’s the ticket.
Then you gotta look real close at the face, the dial they call it. The real ones, the letters and numbers are sharp and clear, no blurry business. And the little window for the date, it’s got this bump on it, like a magnifying glass. They call it a “Cyclops”, sounds fancy, don’t it? But on the fakes, that bump might be crooked or blurry, not clear like a good pair of glasses. And sometimes, the letters just don’t look right, like they squished together or spaced too far apart. You gotta look real close, mind you, these city slickers are gettin’ good at fakin’ stuff.
- Weight: Real heavy, like a rock. Fake light like tin.
- Dial: Letters and numbers sharp and clear. Fake ones blurry.
- Cyclops: Magnifying glass over the date, clear and straight. Fake ones crooked or blurry.
Another thing, they say the real ones got this glow-in-the-dark thing on the hands and numbers. But I reckon most folks ain’t gonna be lookin’ at their watch in the dark, unless they sneakin’ around, and that ain’t none of my business. But if you wanna check, take it in a dark room and see if it glows bright and even. Fakes, they might not glow at all, or just a little bit, kinda weak and patchy.
Now, some folks say you gotta look at the little dot at the top of the dial, the “pip” they call it. On the real ones, it’s supposed to be right in the middle and the right color. But honestly, my eyes ain’t what they used to be, so I ain’t relyin’ on that too much. But if you young’uns got good eyesight, take a gander. If it’s off-center or the color looks funny, that might be a sign it’s a fake.
And then there’s the price. Lord, these things cost a fortune! If someone’s offerin’ you a “Rolex Sub-ma-ree-ner” for a hundred bucks, you can bet your bottom dollar it ain’t real. Ain’t nothin’ that good comes that cheap, that’s just common sense. You gotta be willin’ to shell out a whole lotta cash for the real deal, enough to buy a whole herd of Bessies, I reckon.
But here’s the thing, even if you do all this checkin’ and lookin’, them fakes are gettin’ better and better all the time. They say there’s all kinds of different ones out there, hard to keep track of ‘em all. So you really gotta be careful. Maybe the best way to know for sure is to buy it from a real fancy store, the kind with the shiny floors and the folks in suits. They probably ain’t gonna risk their reputation sellin’ fakes. But then again, I reckon those fancy stores are gonna charge you even more, so it’s a catch-22, as them city folks say.
So, there you have it, a few things to look for if you’re thinkin’ about buyin’ one of these fancy “Rolex Sub-ma-ree-ners”. But honestly, I’d rather spend my money on somethin’ practical, like a good pair of boots or a new plow for the field. But that’s just me, I ain’t one for fancy things. Just remember, feel the weight, look close at the dial, and don’t be fooled by a cheap price. And if it says “Steinhart” on it, well, then you know it ain’t the real McCoy, that’s for sure, even I know that much. Heard some fella say that once, made me chuckle, thinkin’ about it still.
Anyways, that’s all I know about these fancy watches. Hope it helps you young’uns make a smart decision. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go check on Bessie. She’s probably wonderin’ where I’ve wandered off to.
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